I'm Off!

I woke up this morning and took my teary-eyed teenage daughter out to breakfast on the way to her school, and was quite strong as I told her not to cry; I won't be gone that long, I said. Dropping her off at her school, and watching her walk off to her class, my facade started to crack -- by the time I got out of the parking lot, I could barely see through my tears. But there wasn't much time, so I raced home, using one hand as an eyeball windshield-wiper, the other hand steering a path between all the car-shaped blurs.

In a mad panic, I tried to cram the last few forgotten items into the last few pockets of my luggage, and do the last of the chores around the house that I knew I wouldn't be able to get to for quite a while... agonizing over the fact that all I really wanted was to spend a few quiet moments with my wife.

And then what must have been the Zen master of chauffers came to pick me up in the kind of black non-stretch limo that actual rich people take, and now I know why. It was very comfortable, and quiet. Maybe being rich wouldn't be so horrible after all.

Got to the airport, through security, onto the plane, and settled into my Business Class seat (much more legroom than coach, much more seat adjustment, and a private video screen).

I had to change planes in Tokyo. My first and only experience in Japan was watching the TV in the lounge; Larry King was interviewing the contestants from "The Apprentice." So... THAT'S what Japan is like. I had enough of a stopover to buy a few trinkets for my family, dash off a quick email at an internet kiosk, and then get onto another 747, this time an upstairs seat! (I'm still enough of a rube to get a kick out of there being an "upstairs" on an airplane.)

No, wait -- Cantonese!

My departure date has backed off a bit; it is now about five weeks away instead of two. In the intervening weeks, I'm to absorb as much as I can about the production process and workflow of the show I'm being assigned to. They're going to throw me into a lot of meetings as an observer.

Meantime, on the language front: I've been trying to get used to the Mandarin "language" (I still can't quite believe it's a real language) by listening to the tapes in my car. But today I learned from one of my coworkers, who has already spent some time at our Hong Kong studio, that I will have to learn Cantonese; apparently, reports of widespread English usage among our employees in Hong Kong are greatly exaggerated.

Wonderful.

So I cranked up the iPod and started playing the Cantonese language lessons I had given up on weeks ago. And I've decided: it's not just harder than Mandarin; it's WAY harder than Mandarin. Forget hamsters and frying pans; this sounds more like a cat choking on a squeeze toy while coughing up a fur ball. As the random-sounding, alien gargling sounds spilled out of the iPod, I just sat there, stunned. I tried to imitate some of them, but... man. This is going to take a while.

I'm Going to Learn Mandarin!

Spending time in a foreign country without trying to learn the language is (in my opinion) rude, so I've decided I should at least attempt to learn the Chinese language before I go. Unfortunately, there is no "The Chinese Language;" the various languages and dialects spoken in China have less in common than, for instance, French and German... and we consider them different languages.

That said, though, Mandarin and Cantonese are the most widely-spoken dialects, in that order. So I should definitely learn one of those two. Mandarin is spoken in more places, and is the "official" language of China, so it would be the obvious choice, right? But wait -- Hong Kongers mainly speak Cantonese, so that one would make more sense. Except -- they also all speak English, and since Mandarin is easier to learn, and it's a second-or-third language to most Hong Kongers, maybe that one makes more sense to learn? I've gone back and forth on this many times... and I've landed on trying to learn Mandarin. It's easier, and covers a wider area, and may even -- who knows? -- someday become the official language of the USA, the way things are going.

So Mandarin it is! Got me some language tapes at Barnes & Noble... But so far, all these one-syllable, sing-song noises just sound to me like hamsters ricocheting off frying pans ("Ping! Zing! Ka-Pinggg!")

Nonetheless, I am seriously starting to look forward to this trip... It'll be an opportunity to experience another culture, meet new people, find new ways of creating acid indigestion... plus, I'm looking forward to my first dental emergency in a land where they solve every health problem by sticking needles into your flesh...

You're Sending Me... Where!?!?

A few days ago, one of my studio's personnel executives called me into her office, and asked if I'd be interested in working at their Hong Kong studio for six months, supervising 60 animators working on a TV show.

I've seen Jackie Chan films, and I read newspapers, so I know the place is teeming with violent Chinese Mafioso types, and that every deadly flu originates there... With disease and corruption lurking around every corner, Hong Kong was quite literally near the very top of my list of places never to be.

So with a smug little chuckle, I said, "No-o-o... but thank you anyway!"

Whereupon I learned that if I didn't take this assignment, they were not going to pick up the option on my contract. If you're not a lawyer, here's what that means in layman's terms: "You're going to Hong Kong or you're fired."

Since "fired" was even farther up on my list of places never to be, I chose Hong Kong.

She assured me that the animators there all speak English, and the studio will cover all relocation costs, rent me a hotel/apartment, give me a per diem, and she threw in a few other "perks" designed to make it all seem like a good idea. I'm not even sure I heard everything; my world was kind of spinning...

After thinking about it for a while, I decided I'm going to make the best of it, and keep a live travel journal to let all my friends know what it's like being uprooted from your comfort zone and transplanted into a foreign environment.